I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
