The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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