well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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