I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
