is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
