my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
