You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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