I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
