Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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