Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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