Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
