We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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