I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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