Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
