i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
