Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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