Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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