We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
