How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
