Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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