Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
