there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
