Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
we should paint friendship bongs
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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