sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
