just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
