smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
