Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
