Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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