just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
