Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
