This beer is not sobering me up at all
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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