onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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