Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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