Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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