I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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