Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
