We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
