Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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