It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
