Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
