sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
