she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
