omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
