im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
