Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
