You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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