Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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