READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
