I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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