I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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